Please Say His Name

Why does grief make people so uncomfortable? Very few people bring up Jordan’s name anymore and when I do, the subject is quickly changed. It’s as though if we don’t talk about it-it didn’t happen.

Are people really afraid they’ll make me cry? Don’t they realize I cry anyway? Occasionally my eyes fill and a tear escapes in public, but mostly I shed my tears in private when I can let go and truly surrender to the overwhelming grief I feel so deep within my soul.

Months ago the last person I ever thought would utter these words, told me I needed to move on. Move on? Where? I go to Church and to the movies. I cook, I clean, I take yoga and go shopping and out to eat. I usually have several projects going on all at once with more in the works. I do all these things and still grieve the loss of my son. He is a part of me...we are a package deal. How do you ever let go of your child? Would you want a friend who could do that? I wouldn’t.

For those few friends and relatives who are willing, and sometimes even eager, to talk about Jordan...I thank you from the bottom of my heart. For those who are uncomfortable, please don’t be. His name is a sweet sound to my ear and a comfort to my wounded heart. I need to know that you remember. I will never forget.

Jordan...forever in my heart.