A Visiting Cardinal

I saw a beautiful red cardinal outside my window on Sunday morning! I saw a flash of color and when I looked out the window, I saw him sitting on the fence. The winged creature gave me quite a display as he went from fence to tree to vine. It was almost as if he was saying, “Can you see me?” He then flew and sat on the bush right outside the window. I walked over and stood there watching that beautiful creature. We were separated by a single pane of glass. Up until Sunday I had only seen pictures of the beautiful red bird. It was a treat to see one in the wild, especially as he pranced and turned and posed to allow for my best view!

Birds have played a comforting role in my grief journey. A few months after my son, Jordan, died in February of 2016, I had a dream in which he encouraged me to listen to the sounds of the birds. He deemed it as a way we could connect across realms. I know it was only a dream, but I got to see the precious face of the one I love so much, and I received the gift of comfort that often comes when I least expect it. I don’t consciously listen for chirps and sweet melodies because that would negate the solace I experience when I am caught unaware by the sounds of a winged messenger.

The cardinal’s visit came at a much-needed time. I had, and continue to, struggle through another deep valley in my grief journey. These bottomless canyons come out of nowhere and leave me grappling with overwhelming emotions that have lost none of their intensity. When I am struggling under the weight of a grief attack, it is impossible to see the other side of the valley, although I have learned that I will get there in time... I just need to hang on. So yes, that beautiful red bird’s sojourn to my backyard was perfectly timed to comfort my wounded heart. When I see a bird or hear the beautiful sounds I have come to love so dearly, I am aware of the deep and permanent connection I have with my son and I am transported to the deepest part of my heart. That is the transcendental strength of a love between a mother and her child... not even death can dim its powerful light.